Oh, The Holidaze

Christmas approaches like a runaway train, so I thought I'd relate a few of the best music related Christmas gifts I've ever received or given.

• I once actually received a Black Sabbath album as a Christmas gift. I don't know if that means that I'm going to hell, the person who gave it to me is, or perhaps the both of us will hold hands singing Electric Funeral as we descend into the flames of ol' Beezlebub's hangout.

• Back when I was in high school, my grandmother was out visiting from Jersey at Christmas time. She had no idea what to get her adolescent grandson, so she told my mom that she'd like to get something off of my list. On Christmas morning, I unwrapped the package from Grandma expecting a sweater but instead unfurled a beautiful Led Zeppelin tapestry that I'd asked for. I looked up at my grandma and thanked her, asking how she knew I wanted such an item. She shrugged and smiled as I looked at my mom and figured it out. I held up the tapestry and asked Grandma, "Whatcha think? Nice, huh?" My grandmother tilted her head as if I had the thing upside down and replied, "Well Tony, I don't know what a Led Zeppelin is, but if you like it, I'm glad I bought it for you". Twenty-plus years later, the item now hangs in my garage and every time I see it, I think not of Robert Plant or Jimmy Page, but of my 70-year-old grandmother in a head shop, pointing up to the tapestry hanging from the ceiling and telling the hippie behind the counter, "I'll take that Led Zeppelin one, thank you".

• Recorded music, in whatever incarnation the times call for (cassette or LP in the 80s, CD and DVD these days), is always on my Christmas list. I make it easy for my family by making a long list of possibilities. They choose one item of the many listed, and that way they've gotten me something that they know I'll enjoy and I am still surprised because I don't know exactly what I'm getting. Back in '92, my dad had run dry on ideas for me, so he took a peek at the list I'd given my sister. Visiting my parents on Christmas morning, I opened up a gift from my dad that I was positive my sister stepped in and purchased in my dad's stead. It was the CD Dirt by Alice In Chains. I thanked my dad and looked at my sister, expecting a wink or something. She shrugged and pointed to Dad, indicating that he'd found it all by himself. Dad caught on and said, "Oh yeah, I went out and shopped for that thing. What a bitch of a time I had". I shook my head, telling him that it was a very popular album at the time and it should have been readily available. "You're right, but I asked clerks at Tower Records, The Wherehouse, and Sam Goody and no one had ever heard of Sally In Handcuffs". I fell off my chair. Poor Dad, lost in the record store. Now when I hear the song Rooster, I'm filled with Christmas spirit.

• Speaking of my dad, I gave him a homemade voucher for Willie Nelson tickets a couple of years ago. My dad used to go to all the great "Outlaw Country" acts back in the '70s and early '80s. The show wouldn't be until February, so it wouldn't be a gift until then, but it was better than handkerchiefs or socks. We had a great time at the show; Dad knew every song and I walked away with a whole lot of respect for Nelson's songwriting and onstage spirit. Maybe this year, I'll get him those Merle Haggard tickets.

This year, once again, I have music on my wishlist. I suppose I've been a pretty good boy this year, but I tend to block out my shortcomings from the grey matter. So if Santa can look the other way just this once, maybe I'll get that new Primus DVD after all.